All 7 Turrets in Sir, We Have an Orc Problem

Last reviewed: 12 September 2026 · Newest game update reflected: 2026.08.18.12.05 (18 August 2026). There are seven turret types. Cannon and laser carry raw damage, gunner and tesla coil clean up leaks, and grenade launcher, mortar and flamethrower change how the wave moves rather than killing it. If your defence collapses despite everything being upgraded, you almost certainly have too much of one job and none of another.

The numbers below are max-level figures from a stat sheet posted by the Steam user Mrlazy, self-dated 31 July 2026. Mumpitz Games has not published turret stats, so this is the best measured source available — but read the caveat at the bottom before you plan an upgrade path around a specific decimal.

The stat table

Each turret now has its own page collecting everything this site records about it — the stat row above plus every player placement, achievement and caveat that mentions it: gunner, mortar, cannon, flamethrower, tesla coil, grenade launcher and laser.

Reading the table properly

Penetration is the number that decides everything. The cannon's 31 means a single shot cuts through a column; the gunner's 3 means it stops after the third orc. That is why the gunner's headline 24 shots per second is misleading — against a dense wave it is spending most of those shots on orcs that are already dead or already blocked.

Range separates the laser from the cannon. At 550 the laser outranges the cannon's 350 by a wide margin, and with 15 bounces it can be aimed into a corridor so the beam ricochets down the whole length. A strategy guide on Steam describes building "laser walls" this way, and notes a caveat worth repeating: many slanted surfaces have flat sections, so a badly aimed laser bounces somewhere useless.

The tesla coil's 360-degree aiming is its real stat. Every other turret has a facing. The tesla does not, and it chains to 12 targets. That combination is why it is the standard answer for whatever leaked past the front line, regardless of which side the leak came from.

The three support turrets do not show up well in a DPS column

The grenade launcher's 44 damage looks unimpressive next to the cannon. The relevant number is the 60% slow for 3 seconds, and the 30% extra damage slowed orcs take. Placed in front of your damage, it is a multiplier on everything behind it.

The mortar's 32 DPS is similarly beside the point. What it has is knockback across a 28 metre blast, and enough of them will physically hold a choke point closed — pushing the wave back into your cannons rather than letting it split.

The flamethrower's 0.6 damage per tick is close to nothing. The strategy guide credits it with a damage amp on affected orcs and a chance not to consume pierce, which quietly upgrades every gunner and laser shooting through the burning zone.

What this means for a first build

A defence that works tends to have one power turret line, one support turret in front of it, and cleanup behind. Concretely: cannons or lasers along the path orcs naturally walk, a grenade launcher or mortar just ahead of them, and a tesla coil set back far enough that it is not distracted by the main horde.

The mistake most people make early is putting the tesla coil on the front line. It has good damage and a fast rate, so it feels like a main gun — but with 12 jumps and no pierce to speak of, it burns its output on the front of a wave instead of on the survivors it is meant to catch.

Two caveats you should hold onto

These numbers are player-measured, not official. Mrlazy's sheet even ends with an invitation to report changes, which tells you how it was compiled.

Balance has already changed once. Mumpitz Games shipped update 2026.08.02.13.35 four days after launch. We have not seen a changelog detailing turret adjustments, so if a figure above does not match what you see in game, trust the game.

Two patches have already moved turret behaviour

Post-launch update 2026.08.02.13.35 (4 August 2026) added an upgrade that lets the Laser fire in a straight line without sway, and 2026.08.18.12.05 (19 August 2026) extended the Strafing Run's uses via a new upgrade node. Neither announcement restates base stats, so the figures above — measured 31 July — remain the best available numbers, with the Laser the most likely to have drifted. Every patch is logged on the update history page.

Turrets do not have a build cost

A common question, and the answer is structural: placing a turret costs nothing. What limits you is a per-level count cap — a save-editing guide describes level 1 as having a cap of 15 — not a currency. The save file stores a placed turret as nothing more than its kind, its position and where it is aimed; there is no price or tier attached to it. All spending happens between runs, in the tech tree, in three currencies that are shared across every turret.

That means the usual tower-defence question, "which turret is worth its cost", does not apply here. The real trade is which branch of the tree you buy first, and the answer to that is about roles rather than prices — see turret roles.

What we have not documented

We do not have per-node upgrade costs, unlock order within a branch, or how each stat scales between upgrade tiers. Those would need to be read out of the game build, and no source we consider reliable has published them — we re-checked every Steam patch note, all twelve community guides, every discussion thread and the developer's own site on 12 September 2026, and none of them carry a figure. They stay blank here rather than estimated.